silly rabbit, cocaine is for kids!
I've gotta tell ya, just when I thought people could get dumber, here it is: Cocaine. It's an energy drink - 280 mg of caffeine per can (compared to an 8 oz. cup of coffee, averaging around 50-100 mg.,) not to mention all sorts of other goodies - guarana, B vitamins, etc.
This new drink strikes me as a perfect marketing ploy - name it something slightly taboo in our culture, but something popular that's associated with high-energy, nonstop fun. And who will we market this stuff to? Teenagers, of course. Who else will be intrigued by this as much as them?
So, what's the problem, you ask? Well, the prude and all-knowing parents decided that because this energy drink is labeled "cocaine" then it would make kids jump straight to the real stuff for a larger kick. Can't make the obvious connection? Neither can I.
Look, no one here is saying kids should be sold cocaine (the actual drug.) Any self-respecting drug dealer who wants to stay in business won't sell shit to kids - it's frowned upon in those circles and is just plain bad business practice, as this woman shows. However, to be so stupid as to say that an energy drink will cause someone to take up an actual drug (oh noes!) is moronic and pointless at best.
Kids (read: teenagers) will be intrigued by this - it's a legal product that refers to something illegal in this country. Tongue-in-cheek "naughty" things are incredibly popular in America. On top of this, the product is designed to burn your throat and sinuses a bit, making it "replicate the real thing," to paraphrase the owner of Cocaine. To a teenager, that's risque enough to warrant trying it.
I've met people that were addicted to various things, and I don't remember any of them saying "well, it all started with a provocatively-named energy drink." Granted, I didn't ask them if the addiction started with the drink, but I'm assuming I wouldn't need to. If an addiction started with something that ridiculous, I'd tell everyone I know about it.
Worried about your kids not knowing the difference between a drink and a drug? Be an actual parent, teach them that the drug exists, why you feel they should / shouldn't do it, and stop giving me reasons to call you an asshat.
I have the slight feeling I'm going to draw a lot of fire for this one.
*stands up for applause*
And the crowd goes silent.
Related:
Cocaine Removed From 7-11 Stores
Cocaine Removed From School
Cocaine Banned In Australia
This new drink strikes me as a perfect marketing ploy - name it something slightly taboo in our culture, but something popular that's associated with high-energy, nonstop fun. And who will we market this stuff to? Teenagers, of course. Who else will be intrigued by this as much as them?
So, what's the problem, you ask? Well, the prude and all-knowing parents decided that because this energy drink is labeled "cocaine" then it would make kids jump straight to the real stuff for a larger kick. Can't make the obvious connection? Neither can I.
Look, no one here is saying kids should be sold cocaine (the actual drug.) Any self-respecting drug dealer who wants to stay in business won't sell shit to kids - it's frowned upon in those circles and is just plain bad business practice, as this woman shows. However, to be so stupid as to say that an energy drink will cause someone to take up an actual drug (oh noes!) is moronic and pointless at best.
Kids (read: teenagers) will be intrigued by this - it's a legal product that refers to something illegal in this country. Tongue-in-cheek "naughty" things are incredibly popular in America. On top of this, the product is designed to burn your throat and sinuses a bit, making it "replicate the real thing," to paraphrase the owner of Cocaine. To a teenager, that's risque enough to warrant trying it.
I've met people that were addicted to various things, and I don't remember any of them saying "well, it all started with a provocatively-named energy drink." Granted, I didn't ask them if the addiction started with the drink, but I'm assuming I wouldn't need to. If an addiction started with something that ridiculous, I'd tell everyone I know about it.
Worried about your kids not knowing the difference between a drink and a drug? Be an actual parent, teach them that the drug exists, why you feel they should / shouldn't do it, and stop giving me reasons to call you an asshat.
I have the slight feeling I'm going to draw a lot of fire for this one.
*stands up for applause*
And the crowd goes silent.
Related:
Cocaine Removed From 7-11 Stores
Cocaine Removed From School
Cocaine Banned In Australia
4 comments:
I saw people panicking about this over the summer. More marketing genius as far as I'm concerned. You used the word "prude" in your rant and I would like to point out one thing: This nation was founded by people who traveled over here on boats looking to get away from the "immoral" and start a country based on very strict religious values. If you keep that in mind, you will find that there are a lot of things that relate back to that very fact.
Yeah, it's an older story, but it still creates all sorts of hubbub at the moment.
The prude thing definitely makes sense though, especially to nudity / sexuality, alcohol, etc. Basically, anything fun.
The American motto is quickly becoming "It's his fault. Let's sue." People are completely unable to take responsibility for their actions and always want to blame it on someone else. Anyone with a sense of humor should see this as a joke, not as an attempt to get your kids hooked on drugs because we used the word Cocaine. Everything we do or say now is run though a sensitivity filter and if it doesn't pass, then you're violating somebody else's right. But what about my right to dislike you? What about my right to think you're fat and smelly and therefor don't have a right to smile? Sorry, that's offensive, you don't have that right. Fuck you.
Ok, I'm done now.
I agree with you, it's a ridiculous conclusion to jump to. Sometimes people are just stupid. They go after crap like this when what's really encouraging people to do cocaine and other substances is far more likely to be a direct result of the parents not explaining it to them soon enough.
For example, in Argentina alcohol used to be no problem; everyone would drink it, including kids. YET they had very, VERY little problem with drunk society! I'm not saying the U.S. should model everything after Argentina, but obviously in that aspect, it worked for alcohol a lot better than either of the things we've tried for cocaine: ignoring the issue and hoping it'll go away, and putting out public service ads with so many blatant lies in them that people investigate the truth (and of course when they find it, it doesn't seem nearly as bad as it's made out to be...because it really isn't.)
Sorry for that last run-on sentance. Anyway, peace.
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